I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize