There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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