Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
