woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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