Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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