I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
