Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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