Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
