my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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