It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
