he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
