Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
