Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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