Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
