Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
