My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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