i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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