just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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