Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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