porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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