Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
