last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i need some magic done to my vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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