return my video game
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
