Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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