And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
