sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
