VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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