remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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