How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize