Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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