I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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