So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
