Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize