how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
