Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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