one two three fourrrrnication!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
