I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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