At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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