Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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