3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
