Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
