you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
