Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize