Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
