i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
