I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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