Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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