GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize