handjob tips. give me some.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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