3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
