you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize