That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
