she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
