Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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