She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
