i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
