butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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