Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
